Do you remember who your best friend was in each grade? I sure do! My best friend from the 2nd grade was my best friend all the way through high school. We both went to different colleges so our friendship did change. We still did things together until we were married and started our own families. I moved out of state so our friendship changed once again. I grew up in a small town (I graduated with 70ish people!) so everyone knew everyone. I had my best friend, but I also had friends that I played sports with. Our friends come and go. Our friendships change depending on the classroom we are in, the activities we choose to be involved with, where we go to college, and where we work. Even amidst all the change that can happen during our lives, one thing stays constant: YOU have to know how to BE a friend to have a friend. No matter the friendship changes you will go through in your life, if you do not have the skills to be a friend, you will never have friends.
THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIPS
At any age, having friends provides support and promotes mental health and wellbeing. Children’s friendships are also very important for their social and emotional development. Through friendships children learn how to relate with others. They develop social skills as they teach each other how to be good friends. Most children want to have friends. Children who have friends are more likely to be self confident and perform better academically at school than those without friends. When children have difficulty in making friends or in keeping them, it often leads to feeling lonely and unhappy with themselves. Feeling rejected by others may lead to significant distress. Learning positive friendship skills can help children socially so they feel happier and more confident.
HOW FRIENDSHIPS DEVELOP AND CHANGE
Friendships require give and take. By sharing toys, time, games, experiences and feelings, children learn that they can have their social needs met and can meet the needs of others. Since friendships develop through this kind of mutual exchange, close friendships are usually based on well-matched needs.
Children’s friendship needs and skills change as they grow. Similarly, children’s ideas about friendship change as they develop. This is refelcted in the different kinds of activities that children like to spend time doing with their friends at different ages. The table below indicates the ways children tend to describe close friends and the kinds of skills that support positive friendships as they develop.
THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIPS
At any age, having friends provides support and promotes mental health and wellbeing. Children’s friendships are also very important for their social and emotional development. Through friendships children learn how to relate with others. They develop social skills as they teach each other how to be good friends. Most children want to have friends. Children who have friends are more likely to be self confident and perform better academically at school than those without friends. When children have difficulty in making friends or in keeping them, it often leads to feeling lonely and unhappy with themselves. Feeling rejected by others may lead to significant distress. Learning positive friendship skills can help children socially so they feel happier and more confident.
HOW FRIENDSHIPS DEVELOP AND CHANGE
Friendships require give and take. By sharing toys, time, games, experiences and feelings, children learn that they can have their social needs met and can meet the needs of others. Since friendships develop through this kind of mutual exchange, close friendships are usually based on well-matched needs.
Children’s friendship needs and skills change as they grow. Similarly, children’s ideas about friendship change as they develop. This is refelcted in the different kinds of activities that children like to spend time doing with their friends at different ages. The table below indicates the ways children tend to describe close friends and the kinds of skills that support positive friendships as they develop.
FRIENDSHIP PATTERNS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Children choose friends who have similar interests and enjoy similar activities. During elementary school, close friendships are most often with a child of the same gender. This is related to children’s preferences in play.
Boys tend to prefer active kinds of play in groups, whereas girls typically prefer games in pairs or threes and use talk more than action. Such preferences may be especially strong around the ages of eight and nine when many children become more aware of social expectations regarding girls’ and boys’ behavior.
Friends cooperate and communicate more with each other than with other children. They also have conflicts more often, but usually manage to settle them without upsetting the friendship. Friends influence each other’s behavior. Over time they may take on similar mannerisms, language and preferences. Although friendships usually have positive effects, friends who have behavioral problems may encourage problem behavior in one another. I bet you can think back to your time in school and pick out the "bad influence"...you know the one your mama didn't want you to play with?
As children’s interests and developmental needs change, their friendship patterns may also change. By upper elementary school it is common for children to form small friendship groups based around similar interests. These groups often establish their own rules about who can join them. Setting rules and learning to negotiate them is important for helping children to develop their understanding of social relationships. However, when children lack cooperative relationship skills it can lead to friendship groups being dominated by some children and excluding others.
SOCIAL SKILLS THAT PROMOTE FRIENDSHIP
Children who are good at making and keeping friends use positive social skills. Parents, caregivers, and school staff help children learn positive social skills by guiding them as young children, being positive examples for children to follow, and providing opportunities for play where children can practice their skills. Key social skills that help with friendships include cooperation, communication, empathy, emotional control and responsibility.
It is very beneficial for children when a parent, caregiver. or school staff member helps them solve friendship conflicts by encouraging resilient, cooperative attitudes. Rather than simply blaming the other children the adult may say something like, “What else can you do? Are there other children who might be interested in playing a game?”
Children choose friends who have similar interests and enjoy similar activities. During elementary school, close friendships are most often with a child of the same gender. This is related to children’s preferences in play.
Boys tend to prefer active kinds of play in groups, whereas girls typically prefer games in pairs or threes and use talk more than action. Such preferences may be especially strong around the ages of eight and nine when many children become more aware of social expectations regarding girls’ and boys’ behavior.
Friends cooperate and communicate more with each other than with other children. They also have conflicts more often, but usually manage to settle them without upsetting the friendship. Friends influence each other’s behavior. Over time they may take on similar mannerisms, language and preferences. Although friendships usually have positive effects, friends who have behavioral problems may encourage problem behavior in one another. I bet you can think back to your time in school and pick out the "bad influence"...you know the one your mama didn't want you to play with?
As children’s interests and developmental needs change, their friendship patterns may also change. By upper elementary school it is common for children to form small friendship groups based around similar interests. These groups often establish their own rules about who can join them. Setting rules and learning to negotiate them is important for helping children to develop their understanding of social relationships. However, when children lack cooperative relationship skills it can lead to friendship groups being dominated by some children and excluding others.
SOCIAL SKILLS THAT PROMOTE FRIENDSHIP
Children who are good at making and keeping friends use positive social skills. Parents, caregivers, and school staff help children learn positive social skills by guiding them as young children, being positive examples for children to follow, and providing opportunities for play where children can practice their skills. Key social skills that help with friendships include cooperation, communication, empathy, emotional control and responsibility.
It is very beneficial for children when a parent, caregiver. or school staff member helps them solve friendship conflicts by encouraging resilient, cooperative attitudes. Rather than simply blaming the other children the adult may say something like, “What else can you do? Are there other children who might be interested in playing a game?”
What kind of activities will we do in class? KINDERGARTEN students will listen to the story, Rainbow Fish. We will discuss qualities that make a good friend....and the qualities that don't make a good friend. Students will be given a fish with a behavior written on it. Students will determine if the behavior is that of a friend or not of a friend. Students will walk to the front of the class to place their fish to either swim with "RAINBOW" fish or swim with "STINKY" fish. The kids LOVE this! They love when they can say the behavior is stinky! |
At the end, students will be able to make their very own "Rainbow Fish" using paper plates.
FIRST Grade students will listen to the story, Enemy Pie. I LOVE enemy pie. We will discuss what enemy means, what friendship means, and the "ingredients" that make friendships successful. We discuss not making assumptions about anyone until we get to know them. Only then can we decide if that person would be a friend. We also discuss that some people may only want one or two friends while others want to have more. And sometimes, there are kids who like to stay to themselves (and they are perfectly content-not the ones who do not have friends because of the behaviors they display to others.). There is no right or wrong number. For the ingredients, students usually think of kindness, cooperation, fun. laughter, nice, and helpful. Sometimes I have to bring up apologizing and forgiveness. Because, hey, none of us are perfect and we make mistakes. |
Students will make their own friendship recipe and will make a pie to go along with it.
SECOND GRADE students will make a recipe for friendship. We have a discussion on qualities of a friend. We will also focus on measurements, such as cup, gallon. pint, teaspoon, Tablespoon, pinch and dash. We will look at fractions, too: 1/4, 1/2. 3/4. Students will also be able to make a chef!